pirate hat ftw

Zenith Men’s Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch

A Review by “Jon McAwesome”:

The Zenith Men’s Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch or Z.M.D.X.T.B.T.C.M. as I like to call it, is by far the most awesome watch. Chuck Norris riding into the Super Bowl on the back of Godzilla and round house kicking the crowd is no where near as awesome as this priceless poon magnet. When I was just moments from sending my $100k to some needy neo-hippie help group, I stumbled onto this gem. It was like the heavens opened and Jesus himself appeared with this same watch on. I mean how can you not follow Jesus when he’s rocking a watch of this caliber. So I asked “What would Jesus do?” Jesus pimp smacked me and said “Forget those hippies, buy the watch!” I was like “HECK YEAH.” I busted out my Discover card and bought this rocking piece of art. I mean its art but its also practical too. Like when I take my summer trips to the Marianas Trench, I have no more worries that I am going to miss Tea Time back on the yacht, because water ruined my watch again. It can withstand the immense pressures of the deep due to the wicked awesome titanium. Deep seas, cant beat this. Bullets cant beat this. Heck, I can deflect cruise missiles and the apocalypse. With a watch like this you don’t need to tell time, you tell people what time it is.

MSRP: US $145,000.00

But its currently on sale for $87,714.97 (that’s $57,285 in savings!)